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My upbringing is the reason I am the way I am, so how can I change if I can’t change my upbringing?

asked Jan 19, 2017
16060 PointsGold
I understand how it can feel that your upbringing is the reason you are the way you are.  However, ultimately, your upbringing actually isn’t the root of your being as you are.  In this life you might have learned from the people who raised you and from your experiences growing up, but your experiences didn’t begin in this life.  I could explain this further, and you can contact me to understand this further, but the important thing in changing in this life is merely to recognize that at every moment, you are responsible for your experience—not anyone or anything else.  

The world merely mirrors you.  The people around you and the circumstances of life treat you as you have been treating yourself.  If you change the way you are treating yourself, the world will change how it treats you, just as a mirror shows the changes in you by necessity, for it is merely showing you a reflection of you.

If you blame your upbringing, your parents, or anyone or anything, including even yourself, for you being as you are or for things being as they are in your life, you will keep getting reasons to blame, and your life will not change in a direction you want it to change.

The only way to change is to acknowledge, without blame, that you are responsible for the experiences you have been having, and that you can therefore change them.  And you can do this by changing what you choose to welcome into your experience with your attention and energy and how you treat yourself.  Do you make yourself feel good with where you choose to focus the attention of your thoughts and actions, or do you make yourself feel bad with your focus of attention and energy?  Acknowledge and apologize to yourself for where you have made yourself feel bad, and redirect your attention to what makes you feel good.

In order to understand this further and really put it into action effectively to change yourself and your life, regardless of what has been before now, contact me and we’ll get started shaping the version of you and your life that you truly want to experience.
Jan 19, 2017
+4 Votes
2780 PointsGold
Modern life is filled with distractions, activities, duties, concerns, violence, and over-stimulation of every kind. All of these can and do contaminate our thoughts, leading to anxiety, fear, worry, depression, and a flurry of mind activity that can be hard to manage.  We can fall into accepting our current behavior as being created by our family dynamics.

What can we do about it?

The answer may be simpler than you might think.

We are hard-wired for success in our lives, coming into this world with resilience, happiness, and the ability to live fully present in any given moment. We merely have to look at young children to see how truly present they are. They have no worries about the past or anxiety about the future. Even when they are frustrated or upset for a moment, they erupt quickly, then let the feeling pass, moving on to the next activity without a single care.

As life moves forward, we slowly begin to allow external circumstances to invade our inner self bit by bit and suddenly, one day we awaken to a misunderstanding that external events have the power to control our inner world. This illusion paints everything unless we realize that it is just a very big misunderstanding of how life really works.

In quiet reflection and stillness, you can begin to find your way to sanctuary. It is in that stillness that all the resilience, clarity of understanding, clarity of thought, peacefulness, and happiness already resides within you. This magical place is where you can truly be yourself, reuniting with that happy being that came into this world seeing, hearing, and feeling the wonder of everything around you. He or she is still in there, waiting for you to come home again. The happiness you seek is not out there in the world or found in the presence of another. It is within you, patiently waiting for you to find your way back.
Jan 25, 2017
+2 Votes
2370 PointsGold
Our upbringing or past doesn't define us, who we choose to be in this moment does! We can re-frame our perceptions of the past, build new constructs in the mind that better define us. We can learn about the beliefs and voices we have taken on from others and internalised, confusing them as part of our own mind. We can learn about our conditioning and how to break free from it. By becoming more in touch with our truth and gaining clarity around our own beliefs, we can start to live the life that better defines us in the moment and let our authentic self emerge.
As an energetic life coach I can help you trace the energy of your mind back to its source and release yourself in the moment from the past and limiting beliefs. You will be surprised at how quickly we can tap into the energy emanating from your mind and how we can dissolve the past, to create a positive representation of who you really are right now. Your mind will already be attempting to rebalance and the real you will already be trying to emerge. We can work with that energy and aspect of your mind to create balance and clarity in the moment. If you are ready to meet the real you! If you would like to re-balance the energy of your mind, discover your true voice and potential, contact me for an appointment. I am happy to help.
Jan 20, 2017
+1 Vote