This is a really good question. We often think that in order to be more positive, we need to talk over the negative and not give the negative our attention. However, this doesn’t actually work. It actually only increases the negativity that we are trying to shut out, because if we’re trying to block it out, we aren’t getting the message, and the message will keep coming and intensify and appear in other forms until we do get it.
In order to be more positive, you want to acknowledge and respond to anything negative that comes up with an appropriate apology and redirection. In other words, acknowledge your role in being the ultimate origin of whatever negative experience you are having—that you are just experiencing what you have made yourself think and feel reflected back and supported by the mirror of the world. And therefore validate what you have made yourself think and feel and want that isn’t positive and say you’re sorry and let yourself know what you’d like to make yourself feel instead going forward.
This is key.
In addition to this, you can:
1) Intentionally surround yourself with primarily positive books, songs, people, etc.—with things that support you in feeling good.
2) Take care of yourself and give your attention and energy primarily to things, activities, relationships, projects, etc. that uplift, energize, and inspire you.
3) Shape your life around feeling what you really want to feel. If you shape your living environment, your friendships, your career, your romantic relationship, your days, etc. around what makes you feel good, and you make your decisions from this good-feeling place, your life will support you in being positive and remind you—with good reasons—to be positive even when you might slip from this. It won’t be nearly as much work to remain positive, or to get back to this, when you’ve shaped your entire life around what helps you be positive, because then there are reminders everywhere to be positive (rather than the reverse).
But remember, being more positive is only sustainable if you know how to handle the negative. And the secret is to take responsibility, respond and redirect. Once you’ve validated—with your words and actions—that you’ve heard the message about what you’ve made yourself experience, and you let yourself know what you’d like to make yourself experience instead going forward (and you act on this), the negativity will transform into positivity and actually support you in your aim.
If you’d like help being more positive, filling your life with reasons to be positive, and learning from anything that doesn’t seem positive how to be even more positive, contact me for a free session now and let’s get started!