This is such an important question. Our communication with other people has a tremendous impact on the quality of our interactions and relationships with them, and our relationships with other people have an immeasurably large role (in most, if not all, cases) in determining the quality of our lives.
So if we could improve our communication with other people, we could dramatically improve the quality of our lives. Fortunately, we can do this.
The secret to improving your communication with other people is to improve your communication with yourself. However poorly or well you communicate with yourself, this will be reflected in your communication with other people. After all, if you aren’t even on the same page as yourself, how could anyone else possibly be on the same page as you? And if you are on the same page as yourself, others can actually know where you stand, too.
So how can you improve your communication with yourself? Here are the three keys to doing this:
1) Get clear about what you actually want.
We often think we want specific physical things or people or circumstances. But what we actually always want is the thoughts and feelings that we imagine we would have if we had those things or people or circumstances.
In other words:
It’s not the relationship you actually ultimately want, it’s the feelings of connection, love, being loved and cared for, being understood, etc.
It’s not the job or specific career results you actually ultimately want, it’s the feelings of security, belonging, accomplishment, being respected and respectworthy, being in the right place, making progress, worth and value, etc.
It’s not the money you actually ultimately want, it’s the feelings of being able to relax, having everything you need, having plenty available to you, being able to provide, security, confidence, accomplishment, value, worth, etc.
It’s not the body you actually ultimately want, it’s the feelings of being attractive, healthy, energetic, alive, capable, etc.
2) Listen to yourself about how to get what you want and act on this.
Once you step into the experience—the thoughts and feelings—you’d like to have, and you make this real for yourself in your imagination, be sure to act in accordance with what feels right from this place.
Check with yourself, “How would I feel if I did this?” If it feels good, do it. If it feels bad, don’t do it.
3) Remember that the world is just a mirror that reflects what is within you.
If you try to change the mirror or simply react to the mirror and act from this reaction, you’ll only increase the lack of communication. Instead, ask yourself, “How have I made myself think and feel what this other person (or event or experience) is making me think and feel?”
Once you acknowledge and apologize to and appreciate yourself, be sure to redirect if necessary to what you would like to make yourself think and feel instead going forward. (“What would I like to make myself think and feel instead going forward?”)
If you’re feeling positive, be sure to express appreciation and gratitude to yourself for creating this positive experience and to your own internal guidance for guiding you to support for this positive experience in the world around you.
If you remember and apply these three keys, you will dramatically improve your communication with yourself and consequently also with other people.
If you’d like help better understanding how exactly to apply these three keys in your own specific life circumstances, contact me now for a free session and we’ll vastly improve your communication with yourself and with everyone in your life beginning right now.