“Keeping the peace” with yourself is first and foremost. Then the peace within the relationship will follow and never the other way around. That’s simply the way it works, and by trying it the other way around, it’s more likely you’ll only encounter more reasons regarding why not to try to make peace with your “external partner (E”P)” first. By first “making peace” with your internal partner (I”P, our GPS) and then following I”P’s directions if and how to make peace with E”P, you are addressing the real “peace demolisher” and then are able to actually have the peace you’re wanting with yourself (I”P) as well as with your E”P.
Ask yourself in regards to your E”P and then direct it to your I”P
~ What are the subjects/things that you talk about that really skyrocket the peace?
~ What are the thoughts and feelings that come up in these heated arguments between the two of you?
~ Are the arguments about the same things over and over?
~ Are there other areas in your life besides this relationship where you feel:
~ not at peace within yourself,
~ a feeling of unsettlement,
~ like you’re struggling to feel calm and content?
By answering these questions, you can have a better understanding and greater clarity as to which area(s) (relationship, career, friendships, family) you feel require soothing and give that to yourself in the ways you feel will help you be at peace.