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No one listens to me. How can I get people to listen to me?

asked Feb 20, 2017
16060 PointsGold
I’m sorry you’ve been feeling not listened to.  The first step to getting people to listen to you is to recognize that people are just reflecting how you are treating yourself.  Other people and the world around you can only make you feel what you are already making yourself feel.  So if you are feeling that no one listens to you, this means that your own thoughts, feelings, and instincts—your own internal guidance—feel that you haven’t been listening to them.

So if you want to get people to listen to you—if you want to experience this in the mirror of the world—then you want to listen to your own internal GPS.

How do you listen to your own internal GPS, you ask?  Begin by focusing on the experiences you actually want to have—the ones that feel good.  Whenever you focus on an experience you don’t want, you are making this your destination in your GPS, and your GPS will direct you toward this, and you will be inclined to dismiss, ignore, and tune out its directions and get upset at it when it gives you what you asked for with the focus of your attention.  When you focus on an experience you actually do want, you make this your destination in your GPS, and your GPS will direct you toward this, and you will be inclined to accept, pay attention, and tune in to its directions and be appreciative toward it when it gives you what you asked for with the focus of your attention.

So if you want to get people to listen to you, begin by acknowledging that you haven’t been listening to yourself, and that you’re sorry for this, and that you would like to listen to yourself more going forward.  And focus on the experiences you actually want to have—the ones that feel good—and listen to yourself and acknowledge all the old destinations that come up—however bad the experiences seem—and redirect these toward where you actually want to go instead.  Get yourself focused on what you want and appreciating everything that’s on the way there, and other people will listen to you, too.

Ultimately, this will require a bit more than this since you’ll want to recognize in what areas of your life—romantic relationship, career and money, body and health, family, living situation, friendships, etc.—you particularly haven’t been listening to yourself and have instead been doing things that don’t feel good or right.  And you’ll want to imagine what you would feel if you actually had everything you want in those areas of life in a few months or years from now.  Then, you’ll want to apply everything we just said here—acknowledge old destinations and ways of treating yourself as they come up reflected in the world around you, and redirect these to what you would like to experience instead going forward.  And listen to what feels right and good and act on this.  This is ultimately how you’ll get the mirror of the world to show you that you are listening to yourself.

If you’d like help identifying exactly how and where you haven’t been listening to yourself and how you can change this so that you experience other people listening to you, too, contact me for a free session now and we’ll get you listening to yourself in ways that get other people following your example and listening to you, also—exactly as you want them to.
Feb 20, 2017
+4 Votes
360 PointsSilver
Years ago, a very successful entrepreneur told me, 'before you can be interesting, you need to be interetsed'.  This philosophy matches up perfectly with another well worn acronym called 'WIIFM'- what's in it for me.

Getting more people to listen to you requires some understanding of basic human nature.  People are naturally more interested in themselves (what they like; what they think; what they say) than in others.  So, if you are having a difficult time getting people to listen to you, changing your approach to how you interact with others will help you greatly.

Start by being more interested.  People love it when you ask them about themselves or things they like or do.  This also gives you a way to really understand who they are and what areas they might be interested in.

Ask good questions that get people to think.  When you get people to think (even pause becasue no one has ever asked them that before) you create imapct!  They will naturally be more interested in you for asking and listening.

Finally, choose your words carely.  This is not to say that you need to stifle your thoughts.  Just be judicious about how you say things.  What causes people to lose interest and ultimately avoid you is becasue they might feel that your delivery is too overwhelming, too complaining, too emotional or too unfocused.

Getting people to listen to you is an art.  Practice being the best listener you can be and you will find that others will be more interested in what you have to say.
Feb 22, 2017
+1 Vote