If you’d like to increase the excitement in your relationship with your partner, the first step is to increase the excitement in your relationship with yourself.
If you are unexcited about your own life, there is nothing your partner is going to be able to do to get you feeling excited. You’ll end up expecting a lot of your partner and these expectations will be left unmet and you will be disappointed. Meanwhile, you’ll make your partner feel like nothing he or she does is enough, and eventually your partner will stop trying. So you’ll actually dampen and even eliminate the excitement in your relationship if you aren’t excited about your own life.
If you are excited about your own life, your partner will reflect this excitement as long as he or she is capable of this. In other words, if you are excited about your own life and the direction you’re headed and where you are on the way there, then as long as your partner is open to heading this direction, too, for him/herself, you’ll get to share your excitement with each other and be excited together. But you’ll never know if your partner is ready to join you on the road of excitement unless you actually get on that road yourself for a while and then see if your partner joins you.
So let’s focus on you right now. What do you feel has been keeping you feeling unexcited about your life? Your job? Your body and health? Your living situation? Your friendships and community? Your family? Your romantic relationship, itself?
Where have you actually been making yourself feel unexcited? Where have you been keeping yourself in a situation that you’re not excited, not happy, not fulfilled, not feeling so great at all?
What would it be like if, in six months, or a year, or three years from now, you’re feeling excited in that area of your life? You don’t know yet now what specific details are there or what specifically has physically changed, but you’re feeling excited, happy, fulfilled, free, in control, and powerful. Separate from the specifics and just live in those feelings for a while. Step into those feelings every day for at least a few minutes. Before you even open your eyes in the morning would be a good time to do this so you can start your day from this place.
Then notice what’s been holding you back from feeling these things. What comes up that makes it difficult to sustain these feelings?
How have you been making yourself feel these ways that the world is reflecting back at you?
How would you like to be making yourself feel instead going forward so that this would be more aligned with and supportive of you feeling what you really want to be feeling?
Notice the things that actually excite you as you become more aligned with actually feeling excited. And follow this. Fill your life with activities that and people who support you in feeling excited.
Then, when you’re feeling more excited about your own life separate from your partner for a while, you can see if your partner comes along to support you in your excitement. If yes, you’ve got what you want! If no, you might want to consider letting go of your partner who has supported you up to here but may not be able to support you in going further from here. If you are on the road you want to be on in life, you want to keep the people around who are on this road with you and let go of the people who are on different roads. This way you can continue in the direction that feels right and good for you and everyone in your life will support you in this.
If you’d like help increasing your excitement in your relationship with yourself so that you can increase your excitement in your relationship with your partner, contact me for a free session now and we’ll increase the excitement in your life!