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How can I get people to stop telling me what to do?

People have been bossing me around and have been so critical of me and I want them to stop.
asked Feb 27, 2017
16060 PointsGold
I’m sorry you’ve been experiencing this.  We can resolve this, and we can do this by first recognizing that other people treat you the way you treat yourself.  So if other people have been telling you what to do and you don’t like it, this means that you have been telling yourself what to do, and this isn’t appreciated.

When you focus on what you don’t want and then you tell yourself that you “have to,” “need to,” or “should” do things in order to fix or avoid experiencing what you don’t want, you come across to your own internal guidance as bossy and critical, always telling it what to do.  And then you experience this reflected in the way other people treat you, too.  

The solution is to focus on what you actually do want and then tell yourself “I’d love this,” “I would be so appreciative and grateful if I had this,” “It would be so wonderful to experience this,” “I’d love to experience more things like this,” or something else similarly positive and encouraging.  Imagine if other people spoke to you like this!  What different feelings this would bring about in you!  You’d be much more likely to want to accommodate their requests then, right?  

Well, the same is true for how you talk to, and treat, yourself.  

As compared to focusing on what you don’t like and being critical and telling yourself what you have to do, you’ll get very different results if you focus on what you like already and encourage more of this, and on what you ultimately want to experience and express appreciation for it.  And if you make this change, you’ll experience this change reflected in the way other people talk to, and treat, you, too.

If you’d like help changing the way you speak to and treat yourself so that other people will also be less bossy and critical, and instead be more accepting, encouraging, and appreciative toward you, contact me for a free session now and we’ll make your experience here much more positive.
Feb 27, 2017
+5 Votes