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Reward/punishment doesn’t work on my 4 yr. old son. How can I easily get him to do what I ask him to?

asked Mar 3, 2017
5210 PointsGold
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. Having your child not listen to you is not the most pleasant thing in the world.

Everyone is a reflection of your internal dynamics with yourself, whether it be your child, friend, co-worker or the grocery man. In other words, the way you feel about yourself and treat yourself is what the world will reflect back at you.

Asking yourself the following few questions may be helpful to you in figuring out the core of these reflections and then redirecting so that you can attract the experiences you want into your life.

Okidoke, here goes…
~ When your son wasn’t listening to what you were asking of him, what did that make you think and feel?
~ How have you been making yourself feel these things?
~ In what areas of your life (relationship, career, job/living situation etc.) have you been resisting doing what your own internal guidance says would feel right, regardless of the outcome?
~ How would you like to make yourself feel going forward instead?

We are the creators of every experience we have. Answering these questions will help you clarify the root of your son’s behavior (really your behavior with yourself) and identify what to do next with you. Ideally, you would willingly work together as a team with your internal guidance system, resistance-free. This way, you can have more positive, easy-going and flowing experiences with your son as well as other people in your life.

I would love to share with you more key ways to fully create what you’d like to experience in your life! It’d be wonderful to let you in on some more secrets regarding how to get your son not only to listen to what you ask of him, but even to ask you permission before doing something else. Contact me so we can get started!
Mar 3, 2017
+5 Votes
28850 PointsGold
Children are brilliant at controlling us, even if we think we're the ones in control. It's interesting that your four-year-old still knows how to control you. Many times parents catch-on to the kinder-tactics and regain their parental footing by the time the child is ready for pre-school. Since he or she is still running the house,  you might consider making an appointment to see me.  For, without knowing all of the facts, it's difficult to begin to offer you some useful advice.

What may be useful is that you reach out to one of us for guidance. I hope that doesn't sound too much like there is something wrong with you as a parent. The last thing you need is somebody (besides yourself) making you feel guilty. So, no disrespect. As trite as it sounds, just know that you are not by yourself in this.
Apr 11, 2017
+4 Votes