I’m sorry you’ve been having difficulty getting your kids to behave as you’d like them to. You can get them to behave, however. You just need to know what to change on your end to get different results with them, and then of course to actually change this on your end.
Ultimately, your children are just a mirror of you. If you are having trouble getting control of your kids, then you want to identify how and where this applies within you so you can change this.
In order to do this, you first want to ask yourself what this is making you feel. Perhaps it’s making you feel out of control, overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, upset, not listened to, etc. Once you identify what it’s making you feel, ask yourself how you’ve been making yourself feel these ways.
Why would your own internal guidance feel out of control, overwhelmed, frustrated, upset, etc. with you, and like you’re not doing what it would like you to do or what it’s saying to do?
In what areas of your life might this apply? In your career? In your marriage? In your health and body? In your living situation? In your friendships? In your family, alone?
Where have you not been listening to your own internal guidance, continuing to do what doesn’t feel right and not doing what does feel right?
When you don’t listen to, and act on, your own internal guidance, your kids follow your example and they don’t listen to you or do what you tell them to do either. When you do listen to your own internal guidance, your kids will again follow your example, and they will listen to you and do what you ask them to do, too.
So you want to imagine what you’d really like to be experiencing in the area or areas of your life where you’ve been making yourself feel as your kids have been making you feel (and also imagine what you’d really like to be experiencing with your kids), and step into what this would feel like. And then you want to listen to what feels right from this place and act on this.
The result is that you’ll be inclined to ask your kids in different ways to do things, and to pay attention to and reinforce the behaviors you actually want rather than the ones you don’t want. And you’ll do this in subtle ways that you could never manage to do while you’re setting the example of not listening to yourself and then telling your kids to listen to you. So start with you. And then notice how the reflection of how you are responding to your own internal guidance changes in how your kids respond to you.
If you’d like help getting the behaviors you’d like from your children, contact me for a free session now and we’ll get you listening to yourself and responding to yourself in the ways that you would like your kids to listen and respond to you, and we’ll get your kids behaving as you’d ultimately like them to as well.