loading ChatOwl...

Coming Soon

Experience 30 days of free chat therapy by ChatOwl.

By joining you secure your free 30 days chat therapy with ChatOwl.
Or browse our content

It seems that to my significant other, everything I do is wrong. How can I possibly please my partner?

asked Mar 29, 2017
16060 PointsGold
I’m sorry you’ve been experiencing this.  Fortunately, you can get the experience you want.  The first step to this is to recognize that however your significant other treats you and makes you feel, this is how you have been treating yourself and making yourself feel.  

In other words, your own internal guidance is saying that you have been making it feel like everything it does is wrong and like it can’t please you.  So if you identify where this is the case and change how you are treating yourself, you can get different results.

Where in your life have you not been listening to your own internal GPS, that it would feel like everything it does is wrong?  Where have you been unpleasable, where you haven’t acknowledged good things that have happened and have instead focused on what you haven’t liked and what hasn’t made you feel good?  Has it been in regard to your career and money situation?  Your body and health?  Your living situation?  Your family?  Your friendships?  Your romantic relationship, itself?

Wherever you’ve focused on what’s wrong, it’s time to start focusing on what’s right.  Rather than criticize, judge, and dismiss what you don’t like, focus on what you like about what’s happening, on every step in the direction you want to be going with things.  Encourage along your own positive actions and any positive things that happen in the direction you want to be going.

Notice how when your partner makes you feel like everything you do is wrong, it’s very de-motivating.  It makes you not want to do anything anymore.  So this is how you have made yourself feel, too, by focusing on what isn’t good yet rather than on what is already good and moving in a good direction.

Treat yourself as you would like your partner to treat you, and your experience with your partner will change—as long as you allow it to.  So after you’ve changed how you treat yourself here, the next step is to imagine what it would feel like to be able easily to please the person you’re in a relationship with and to feel like everything you do is right in your relationship.  And if you actually do encourage yourself along, giving yourself positive feedback rather than being unsatisfied no matter what, and your partner doesn’t eventually start to treat you this new way, too, it won’t feel right to be in this relationship and this will feel clear, and it will also feel clear that you can be in a relationship with someone who makes you feel like everything you do is right—because you’ll already be in a relationship with yourself that is like this, where you are making yourself feel this way.

If you would like help making yourself feel like everything you do is right and good and worth the effort so that you can experience this in your relationship with your partner as well, contact me for a free session now and we’ll get you creating the experience that you really want—in your relationship and everywhere else in your life, too.
Mar 29, 2017
+4 Votes