I understand. I have had a client before with a very similar situation.
First you need to embrace who you are. You have to start living life more authentically.
You have to be okay with yourself and you have to learn to love yourself for who you are.
The longer you are afraid to be the real you, the longer you will continue to be unhappy with yourself and your life.
I had a client who had very low levels of joy in his life and it was mainly from him not accepting himself and not coming out. The more we built up his confidence, learning to love himself and accept himself for who he was, the more he was able to live in integrity and authenticity with his life. Thus he became much happier. Many other areas of his life like his health, relationships, and career starting to become healthier and better as well.
This is not something that happens over night as it is a gradual process.