While we all prefer it otherwise, there is no "easy button" when it comes to reconciling our feelings for someone. There is a part of you which will hold on and continue to hope because there is this ambiguity wherein he does not know about your attraction and thus has not been able to speak for himself on his thoughts or feelings on the matter. This leaves wiggle room for you to continue to hope, fantasize or even wish because even if rationally you know that he may not reciprocate your feelings, emotionally by not being fully honest you leave yourself room for said hope.
The only way to begin to reconcile the rational and emotional is through full disclosure and honest communication, IF you feel safe doing so. Once you are provided an answer from your friend you can then begin to accept the truth from his mouth direct and choose your next course of action. But staying in this grey area unfortunately only precipitates and enables the attraction.
I would be happy to further assist you if you would like to set up a time to speak! Until then I wish you much luck!