Here is an excellent list of questions to get an open conversation going with a date. Before you read the questions, here is a rule of thumb: Any question you ask your date will probably be asked of you as well. These questions require some thinking, and your date may ask you to answer first. Also, it is best to have these conversations in person. If that is not possible, video chat is next best so you can see the person’s facial expressions and body language.
If you don’t know your answer, feel free to call or email me, and we will schedule a FREE session to help talk through your responses so that when you speak with your date, you can be ready to respond with clarity, getting the desired outcome for the conversation.
What are your dating rules?
Most of us have preconceptions about do’s and don’t’s when it comes to dating. We may limit ourselves from showing our true personality. We may talk too much, not talk enough, or not share what we truly would like to do on a date. In short, when we are not aware of our dating rules, we may behave in a manner that counters the way we want to be perceived. If you've never thought about your dating rules, take time now. Think about what you want to happen on dates and write it down.
What does it mean to have a happy marriage/relationship?
A few things to discuss here. What does it mean to be happy? What does a happy marriage look like? This will tell you what is important to your date. Be prepared and, again, write your answer down so you'll be ready when it's your turn to talk.
What do you like to day-dream about?
You probably never consciously thought about this. Daydreaming is a psychological phenomenon that is triggered when our brains are distracted or bored and have open time to fill. Know your answer before you ask this question. If your answer is "nothing" then say that. But, here's an opportunity to talk about the experience you are having when you daydream.
Describe your ideal holiday?
This question can tell you with whom your date spends their holiday? It may teach you about their traditions, or about their family dynamics (which might matter if your relationship gets serious!) It can also tell you the details or emotions they imagine for an “ideal” holiday.
What do you like most about yourself?
Invites dialogue about what your partner sees as good in him or herself. Generally speaking, someone with strong self-esteem can easily answer this question without feeling judged or acting arrogant.
It is a sign of a healthy person when he or she knows what they like about themselves. Most people have a longer answer for the opposite question--“What do you like least about yourself?”
When do you get angry?
This can tell you a lot about your date's expectations in his or her life because a common trigger for feeling anger is when our expectations are not met. Listen closely to this response, as it may reveal some very important information about his or her values.
What do you think about when you can’t fall asleep?
This question opens up an honest discussion about what your date feels stressed about. Because everyone is different, we all have a different set of stressors and fears. My wife and I have different stressors and we enhance each other’s lives when we support each other when one of us is stressed or even simply contemplative.
posted Nov 18, 2017 by Amy Sherman