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What Should I Consider Before Having an Important Conversation? posted May 10, 2017

The most effective manner to express yourself is a combination of several skills that take practice. It’s a meaningful question that can prove meaningful results, and so it entails some detail. First let’s start with the benefits to you:

When you express yourself effectively, you can take your emotions from inside to outside. Stress, anxiety, and anger all stem from expectations on the inside. For example, if you get angry at the driver next to you, it’s because you expect that this driver should be behaving differently than he or she is. You have an expectation about how people or things should be and they are not meeting that expectation. So what you expect on the inside does not match what is occurring on the outside, not being able to control this can breed anger. 

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Not being able to control your emotions or your environment can also lead to stress and anxiety. Anxiety results from the “what if” way of thinking. As in, “what if she says no when I ask her out on a date?” Or, “what if I make a fool out of myself in front of my co-workers?” Stress is actually a neutral emotion. What we do with it makes it either constructive or destructive.

One of the ways to effectively express yourself is to be aware of your body language, what you are saying not with your words, but with everything else about you. Using engaging body language requires confidence, competence, and desire for conversation. There’s a maxim, “I cannot hear what you’re saying because your body language speaks too loudly.” Body language is a large percentage of communication. A smile vs a frown, folded arms vs open arms, back facing the person who is speaking versus eye contact. This is just one of many components to effectively expressing yourself.

What happens if you just want to bottle it up inside?
What if you fear that what you have to say will be rejected by the other person?
How will I know if they are listening?
Why is having important conversations so difficult for me to do?
(Continued in Part 2)

2460 PointsGold

Isaac Bardos

/ Relationship & Career Coach