Look where you want to go. Focus on what you actually want to experience. Because whatever you focus on, you are welcoming this into your experience. After all, as soon as you think about it, it’s in your reality, is it not?
Then, once you’re thinking about it, and you’re stirring up feelings about it with these thoughts, you end up wanting to act on these feelings. And if you act on these feelings, you end up bringing about results that lead to more reasons to be thinking and feeling and wanting these same things.
If you’re focusing on what you actually want to be experiencing, this positive feedback loop works in your favor: Good experiences, when focused upon, give rise to actions that lead to more good experiences to focus upon. So things just keep getting better and better.
But if you’re focusing on what you don’t want to be experiencing, this positive feedback loop works against you: Bad experiences, when focused upon, give rise to actions that lead to more bad experiences to focus upon. So things just keep getting worse and worse.
In other words, there is never any reason to give undue attention to bad experiences, unless you want more of them. Acknowledge them, identify what you’d like instead of them, and then go toward what you’d actually like instead of them.
When you’re riding your bike looking at the pole that you don’t want to crash into, you are going to have to actively try to go a different direction in order to avoid heading straight into the pole. And as soon as you let your guard down, that’s where you’ll end up. The solution is to acknowledge where the pole is and then ask yourself where you’d like to go instead of the pole. Perhaps the open field to the right looks good. So look there, and you’ll naturally steer there. There’s never any reason to look back at the pole again after you identify where you’d like to go instead. And if you do, you’ll naturally steer back toward the pole and it will again require force and effort to avoid crashing into it.
So while we may be inclined to focus on what we don’t like or don’t want in order to fix, change, or avoid this, when we do this, we are riding the bicycle of our lives while staring at the pole that we don’t want to crash into. We’ll only get the outcome that we don’t like and don’t want.
If we really want to make changes and get the results we truly want, we want to notice what we’re not liking and not wanting and then identify what we would like instead going forward.
Identify an alternative, favorable experience. And then focus on this and welcome it into your experience. Reward what you want, and thereby encourage more of this, with the focus of your attention. This will lead to thoughts, feelings, and desires that lead to actions that lead to the experiences that you actually want.
If you’d like help identifying and focusing on what you actually want and welcoming this into your experience, contact me for a free session now and we’ll get you looking where you actually want to go in life, and going there.