Super Woman Syndrome: The unsustainable positive thinking phenomenon when we take on the world, telling ourselves we can handle it and do some awesome things — only to find out we are simply human and finally burn ourselves out.
We want to show up.
We have an internal drive to help people.
We want to make a positive impact on the world.
And we have a difficult time asking for help.
Danger: Wanting to take on the world with superpowers, forgetting the fact that we are human.
We are the leaders, healers, mothers, queens, dancers, helpers, teachers, listeners, sisters, wives, artists, perfectionists and overachievers.
We burn out when our gift of resiliency reaches it’s max.
We’re super women because of our capacity and willpower to want to do the best we can in everything we do.
We want to be involved, do everything and be available to everyone we care about. We want to succeed and be recognized for our hard work and the love we pour into our life’s work and relationships.
The harsh reality hits us when we reach utter exhaustion or we feel like our receptive tanks are full with the incoming energies of the world. We’ve been too available for everyone else and we’ve lost track of being available and nurturing to the most important relationship of all — the one we have with ourselves.
It’s the internal tango of wanting to keep showing up and improving ourselves, but no matter how hard we try, we don’t feel like we're doing good enough — which is a quick recipe for collapse.
Then finally we realize that we’ve maybe bitten off more responsibilities than we can chew when we’re on our knees, in bed exhausted, or have to cancel everything for a moment of silence and solitude. Or we reach a tipping point when we finally need to ask for help, even when we don’t want to.
We’ve spent so much energy trying to relieve the pressure of completing our responsibilities that we abandon our creative lives. The spaces that are sacred and nurturing for us come second. We have nothing left to give and no more room to receive.
When we scatter our precious energy and feel exhausted, drained, depressed or like a piece of our soul is dying, we need to listen. It’s like an internal S.O.S. or emergency call — to turn our super woman powers inward to take care of ourselves.
It’s okay to be human.
It’s okay to say no.
It’s okay to admit we can’t do it all.
It’s okay to unplug and take a break.
It’s okay to ask for help and delegate responsibility.
It’s okay to be a part-time superwoman and part time relaxed feminine — that is content with just being instead of doing.
Our internal driven masculine has taken over the show — and now it’s time to tap into our sacred feminine.
Embracing the parts of us that trust the flow of life. The parts of us that destroy what no longer serves us to give birth to the new. The parts of us that nurture our dreams.
Let’s dance instead of do.
Let’s play instead of prepare.
Let’s rest instead of follow routine.
Let’s love instead of linger in fear.
Let’s say no instead of over committing.
Let’s embrace the magic of life instead of strategize.
Let’s give our strong minds a break and receive life instead.
Let’s learn to truly love and nurture ourselves so that we can shine as integrated, whole super women.
Let’s listen to our needs like we would for someone we love.
Let’s listen to our innate and natural wisdom instead of the voices of others.
Let’s rise in health instead of crumble under pressure.
Let’s trust the process of our own healing so that we can be in better service to the world.
Let’s accept our raw humanness and all we can not do, so that we can show up for what we are here to do.
Let’s be present in our bodies so that we can listen to it’s inner authority.
Let’s learn to build true inner strength, instead of the facade of super human roles.
Let’s rise in our powers together, support each other and recognize each other. Because we are not here to be solitary super women, but to join forces and share the dance.
A few years ago I realized how much I didn’t express my vulnerability when my younger brother said to me, “I didn’t realize you were in so much pain because I always thought you were such a strong independent woman.” On the outside, I tackled the world, but on the inside I was suffering in isolation. My ego was too strong to admit my struggles and reach out for help.
When we play the roles of super women, the people in our lives don’t know how to help because we don’t show them, tell them or even let them.
Admitting our humanness is a gift to others. It empowers them to show up and it shatters the illusions of our super human powers. It’s important to admit our limits, our tiredness, our fears and vulnerabilities. Otherwise we take on too much alone and don’t learn how to truly receive or be met halfway by those in our lives.
Let’s learn the dance of giver and receiver and lighten the load of life. We can’t carry it alone, we’re not built for it — even if we want to.
By recognizing our feminine power in our vulnerability, we truly rise into powerful women, not ashamed of being perfectly imperfect human beings.