We often loosely use the word “love” and we mix being in love with actually loving someone.
Being in love with someone can stem from infatuation, possessiveness, and obsession. You both talk, hold hands, hug kisses and develop surface feelings. You feel alone when your partner is not around you. You crave and yearn for them to be with you all the time.
Loving someone, on the other hand, goes beyond the physical presence. You desire to see them grow, you see past their flaws, you see opportunities of building into each other and together; you motivate, encourage and inspire one another. You do not have to second-guess or ask before you step in to do so. Loving someone requires 100 percent commitment on your part. The concept of true love is hard to comprehend by some. Hence, they get the wrong impression when dating someone who completely gets it. They cannot seem to understand why they deserve the love you are giving. This may make the relationship feel like it is one-sided.
The truth is you cannot receive the love you do not have to give. Loving someone entails giving without condition, wanting the very best for them, making sacrifices, not keeping a record of wrongs, trusting each other completely but if you love someone who does not really know and understand what it is to love, they will never really appreciate all you do but see it as emotionally intense or desperation. It takes being with someone who knows what it is, to love to fully understand how you love.
Falling in love may not necessarily last long since it is usually based on infatuation, lust or obsessing over the other party. If you have not experienced self-love, it will be a good time to take a step back and find you, love yourself and learn to be alone. Experiencing self-love also helps eliminate conflicts, creates room for seeing your partner for who he/she truly is without being judgmental or controlling but willing to sacrifice the time and effort required to help each other get on track. Love is beyond the outward and begins as an inside job.
Love someone not because of what you can get but what you can give. You may fall in love due to selfish reasons and fall out of love when there are no personal gains. Do not just fall in love because you can easily fall out of love when the things you desire no longer exist in your relationship. Ensure you love someone completely – for who he/she is, embrace each other’s flaws, see and bring the best out of each other, during good and bad seasons of your journey and be patient with each other. Let your love for each other grow beyond measures.
©2014 Kemi Sogunle. All Rights Reserved. This article was originally posted on Kemi’s Website.