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Beating Break-up Blues in 5 Steps posted Jan 14, 2018


How to stop depression during break-ups is a question many people ponder during times when heartbreak is at stake.  

It is times like this people look for solutions.  

A lot of times positive psychology can offer a path to peace.


Depression is likely to ensue for a lot of people during a break up.

One of my friends was depressed for over a year because she lost the one she loved.

After seeing someone I care about suffer for such a long time, I was inspired to create the ‘Break Up Formula’ so you can be happy even in a break up.

This formula helps to navigate the waters of separation and love and everything that comes with it.

According to the law of ‘practice makes perfect’ you would think most people would be Olympian level Break-Up Artists. Yet most of suffer each and every time.

In the work of a happiness expert, I see many people looking for help with depression during this time of life. 

After a Break Up . . .

  • Obsessive thoughts creep in
  • Heartbreak Ensues
  • Self Criticism is Rampant
  • Tears in the middle of the day
  • Isolation
  • Over Eating
  • Woe is me
  • Pessimistic Thinking
  • Restless lonely nights

Sound familiar?


Your break ups can be filled with love,

happiness, empowerment, support, kindness,

gratitude, non-attachment and well wishes.

It is possible to feel full hearted instead of broken hearted at the onset of a break up.

This requires a significant amount of psychological prowess and mastery.

The time frame for this formula is up to you. You can move through the steps as it feels natural.

Instead of being at the whim of an emotional roller coaster when it comes to separation and love it is quite possible to be in your own upward spiral of love and happiness independent of the person or situation at hand.

The Break Up Formula

  1. Acknowledge the break up
  2. Accept the break up
  3. Identify learning lessons
  4. Gratitude for learning
  5. Let Go and Fill up

First and foremost it is imperative for you to voice the break up to yourself and your partner.

Second, truly come to acceptance this person is better in separation than partnership. This could take time and I would recommend using my ‘5 Step Acceptance Model’ to help guide your thinking in this stage.

Third, each relationship contributes to your growth. What did you learn about yourself and yourself in relationship?

Next, use the format, I am grateful for ____ (fill in from fourth step) because it adds ___ to my life. Note what was added to your life because of the time spent with this person.

Finally, the Letting Go and Filling up exercise is a psychosomatic (mind/body) exercise which requires deep explanation and careful professional attention.

You can contact us for further instruction in this stage, yet in brief, it is time to let go of the attachment to this person and fill up with self love.

When you have completed all five steps, you will experience a sense of relief, contentment, or even bliss.

As you are navigating the waters of dating and relationships,

a prized skill in successful relating

is being able to be responsible

for your own self love and happiness.

If you are going through depression in a breakup or divorce and want help feel free to contact me.

2240 PointsGold

Dr. Aymee Coget

/ Sustainable Happiness Expert