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Social Media/Meanness to Social Meaningfulness: One Solution posted Feb 1, 2018


Re-Education is the way

The most logical avenue to initiate the revolutionary change in our thought processes and patterns is through our educational system. Educational leaders from pre-K to post-graduate work must change how we teach students to respond to Others. Our system of punishment in every arena has never worked, per seminal psychological studies about parenting, leadership styles, and recidivism within our criminal justice system. Within each of the aforementioned systems, punishment does not work. So, by now, we should know that punishment is not the answer to lasting change. We also know that many who have been wronged in one way or another way can spend a lifetime dealing with the effects of abuse that is often manifested in depression, anxiety, sleeplessness, life-long insecurity and countless other physical, emotional, and psychological ailments. All of this in response being mistreated in some way. One writer suggests that as long as there are mean-spirited people there will be cyberbullying.

Ha. I’d like to know where the writer thinks that the mean-spirited people are going to go. My thinking is that they aren’t going anywhere, but how they see themselves and respond to others can change. I hold the same premise for those who are mistreated. So, what I’m proposing is this:

We change our thinking and therefore change our lives corporately or collectively. If we can do this, we will not have to stop mean-spirited people from being mean, but the individuals will no longer have a tendency to be mean or to bully because their ideas about Being will have systemically changed with time and intentional, effective education. I know, there’s Glenda again. But, I don’t think that I’m not alone with this line of thinking.

There is a growing number of awake, conscious, or enlightened humans who are not comfortable and complacent. There are those who see the world as a place where good is just as prevalent as fear. As one these “do-gooders” this my proposal for changing how we do the business of relationship

  1. Begin to know that we can do good more than we are presently doing it—and then actively be kind
  2. Accept the possibility that we are better people than we are portraying
  3. Believe that we do what we think about—so thinking about goodness, kindness, gentleness, meekness, etc., will change how we respond to ourselves and others.
  4. Believe that we are naturally good and positive people
  5. Begin to respond to others from a stance of goodness, not fear
  6. Know that when someone bullies us that

a) we are not the thing they say we are

b) they are not the thing that they are perpetrating and

c) If both “a” and “b” are true then the only thing can be wrong is we are not having the conversation that will change our dynamics.

The Talk

The conversation is based on our human need for connection. We want to be loved, we want to be affirmed, we want to be heard, we want to feel connected. Often when the chain of connectedness is weakened or broken then humans forget that they are mostly good people and began to respond to others in less than kind ways. In fact, as soon as one of us commit any kind of wrongful act, it means that there is a disconnect

And because we’ve been disconnected so long, we have come to think, believe, accept, and expect that abuse, violation, oppression, and bullying are natural and human behaviors, when I believe the opposite is true. I’m suggesting, instead that because of our constant conditioning, we believe that we are much less than who we are. But I firmly believe that we can be re-conditioned to think that to be human is to be humane—kind, caring, giving, compassionate, and empathetic. If some of us can be sweet any time then all of us can be loving most of the time. And perhaps we are, but of course, our systems DO NOT openly and actively reinforce these ideas enough. Well, this leaves it up to me and other Beings to remind us of our human kindnesses. So, I’m doing it: You are kind.

Finally,  thank you taking the time to read my article. If you found the contents useful, then I would love it if you would up-vote the post by clicking "Up"  just below. Please share it with your friends too.

28850 PointsGold

Dr. Debra LMFT (MT2416)

/ The Relationship Expert / LMFT