We've all been there, in LOVE and in a relationship. We know that with every relationship come challenges but somehow, especially when we've idolized the other person, we can easily turn a small bump in the road into a mountain. Why? Because when it comes to love, common sense and perspective go out the window!
I'm generalizing but it often goes like this: Forgetting to pick up the dry cleaning once turns into "you're ALWAYS so inconsiderate", a little argument over domestic chores quickly escalates to a power struggle and at least one of the parties starts thinking (out loud) about an exit strategy.
The next step is usually to call a friend to voice your outrage. But you don't only talk about the dry cleaning being forgotten. You tell them that they expect you to be their servant, you tell them about ALL the other times they did you wrong and you're on a ROLL.
You see, your friends will always be on your side because they love you and they are loyal to you. You tell them about the villain who's making your life unbearable, they support you "YES, leave them, you're so much better than this! They don't deserve you!" YES! You feel understood, you feel better, you feel more powerful and think that's exactly what you needed.
You go to sleep feeling strong in your resolve. But in the morning, you realize the absurdity of the situation. It really wasn't that big of a deal and you sheepishly realize that you massively blew things out of proportion. You make up, sheepishly... You tell your friends, sheepishly, that things are all good, false alarm. But your friends now have this incredibly negative image of your partner because your negative propaganda was super convincing. So every time you mention meeting them, with your significant other, you're feeling awkward. They feel awkward too. It's just awkward all around.
To give your romantic relationship a chance to flourish, and to preserve your friendships, avoid systematically washing your relationship dirt in public.
For more tips and insights feel free to get in touch for a complimentary coaching call.