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LGBTQIA Kitchen-table Family Meeting posted Jul 17, 2018


Hey Family,

When I was a youngster, my parents would conduct what I call kitchen-table meetings and update us kids on how things were going. These were times of celebration. It was clear my parents were doing well in their relationship and none of us were in trouble, so I truly enjoyed these meetings. In the spirit of the family kitchen table meeting, I’d like to offer my version of how the family is doing with regards to our LGBTQIA family members.

I’m Dr. Debra, Director of Relationship Management with As I considered what some of our therapists and coaches have written specifically with the LGBTQIA community in mind, I decided that I’d write this article to say to you that every article that is posted on our website that involves human relationships are specific to you because you are humans, with moms, dads, siblings, lovers, husbands, wives, and problems. And while it's considered “politically correct” to feature concerns that a relevant for the Gay community that is NOT our motive, inclusion is. And even doing it in the name of “inclusion” sounds like a gimmick. I so hate that. Anyway.

Let me be completely honest and say that YES we are intentionally being inclusive because there are all kinds of people in the world and we wanted to make sure that we are transparent in saying that we would dare not ignore issues that are specific to the LGBT… community. Primarily, because we want you to feel free to see one of our many professionals. For, not all professionals have an authentic heart (unfortunately) for the entire spectrum of human differences. Unfortunate, because the whole point of therapy is to assist in healing human hurts.

Since I’m being honest, I have to admit that I don’t like having to use the label LGBTQIA because something tells me that does not fully represent the vast differences in our sexual orientations and identities. It’s such a catch-22 situation because I want to respect your desire (or need) to be specifically identified but I don’t want to limit that expression either. Just know that I struggle with labels in general. Having said this, I want everyone reading this to know that humans have an infinite range of expressions in an infinite number of categories. I honor them all. And, so I honor you.

So, I use the label LGBTQIA not to label or limit your self-expression but to let you know that I see you and your individualities, period.

And while I take this inclusive opportunity to say I know you are there and I value and honor you as people, I also want to make it clear that I have a bias. And that bias is that while I know that you are human, I honestly think you’re superhuman in the manner in which you deal with the rest of us and our ever-imposing boxes and self-righteous judgments.

So, please enjoy what may seem like a few token articles and message me or make an appointment to see me. Or just message me with some knowledge on other topics we can explore that will educate and inspire. “Whatcha say?”

PS Don’t beat me up too badly if I sound totally out of touch. Just find your superhuman way to educate me and I promise I’ll do better.  On my honor.

28850 PointsGold

Dr. Debra LMFT (MT2416)

/ The Relationship Expert / LMFT