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Relationships and the Three Lists posted Oct 5, 2018

Do you struggle with your relationships? Do you wonder why you continue to argue with the person you’re in the relationship with or why you can’t find that perfect relationship partner? 

I came across these three lists the other day and thought about how useful they can be to help us think about what we want and can create in a relationship, either with the person we’re already in relationship with or a new partner we would like to find. The third list is the most important and can be used in many contexts, whether related to relationships or any other realm of our lives.

The key is to be as specific as you can when making your lists below. Make your lists and read them every day. See what impact they can have in your life!

List 1- What do I want in my relationship?

What are the character traits of the person you are or want to be in relationship with? Spiritually, mentally, physically, what do you want? Don’t focus on the past. Focus on what you want to create.

Now circle the “must haves” in your list, not the “shoulds”

List 2- What do I not want in my relationship?

What are the character traits and other features of a person that you definitely do NOT want to have in the person you have or want to be in a relationship with?

Highlight the absolute “musts” of what not to experience

List 3- What person would I have to become to attract and keep the kind of person I want in my life?

What are the gifts you’re bringing? What would you have to believe? What emotions would you have to experience every day? What would it be that would make you feel alive in your life? What would you have to let go of?


2120 PointsGold

Kimberly Riley

/ Midlife Transition and Relationship Coach