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Recent articles in Pre­marital

People need help finding love and creating healthy relationships. Compatibility differences, communication challenges, or an inability to co-create a life you want together are all challenges that every couple faces. It’s not natural or instinctive to be open, vulnerable and committed with our hearts.   Even when we find someone we trust and love, it’s not easy to be completely honest and raw about what we need, value and desire.  It’s normal to measure our responses, to ...
Finding love is never easy, and once you have it, holding on to it becomes your life. And no, not everyone finds love or has love returned to them the way they give love. Loving someone is scary and overwhelming, but it also feels good to your soul. Having the right person is crucial to experiencing a love that is unspeakable as well as unbreakable.  Why do others doubt such a love exists? You know that it does exist because you experience it daily. Having a special kind of love is ...
There are four different relationship attachment styles. Could one or multiple relationship attachments styles be affecting your love life? Once you understand your attachment style, you’ll learn the answers to the many questions you have about your relationship. The Attachment Deception The four main attachment styles are identified as the following: Secure. anxious–preoccupied. dismissive–avoidant. fearful–avoidant. In-depth learning of each ...
A commitment-phobe has a way of making you feel like they’re too good to be true. Commitment-phobes aren’t bad people; they just have a tough time loving someone else. Your loving them is not the problem, but it is returning that love that keeps the commitment-phobic person up all night. Many commitment-phobes do get married, but their marriages are a living hell. Getting married doesn’t resolve their commitment fears. It only masks them worse over time. You must learn how to ...
Couples in therapy often accuse each other of changing after they were married. Well, the accusation is debatable if you consider that neither one of them bothered to examine nor scrutinize the other’s behavior during courtship or engagement-ship. I wonder if both simply did not allow themselves to see and hear anything that might have implied that the two were meant for each other. In short, they saw the behaviors but simply decided (on some level) not to address it. “Besides, ...
In the Olden, Golden Days our grandparents chose their mates, got married, and stayed married--most of the time. Some had weddings, some just went to the JP (Justice of the Peace) and went to work on building a home and family. Okay, if I were going to be totally truthful, many times it was a shot-gun wedding, where the bride was “knocked-up” and her dad held a gun to the grooms head to make sure he went through with it. And no one bothered to do the math, but of course, everybody ...
If you want to keep your relationships intact and strong, you must consider, how effective you are as a communicator? Communication is the most important element of a successful relationship. Good communication should build trust, improve your physical and emotional connection and enhance your intimacy. However, if communication is poor, just the opposite can happen, which can destroy the foundation that holds a relationship together. Here are some facts: Communication is 7% what you ...
Partner yoga is an excellent opportunity for couples to play, relax, and deepen their love while receiving all the benefits of yoga. The practice supports us to unplug from the stress of everyday life and nourish each other in both simple and profound ways. It opens up a whole new way of relating that is beneficial for all the different aspects of our being. Here are five benefits of practicing partner yoga. It connects and relaxes us. Partner yoga cuts through our normal ways of ...
We hear a lot these days about letting go of fears or other unfortunate conditioned patterns. In the coaching that I do, I help people see fears and unconscious patterns as a portal to deeper self-compassion, self-awareness, healing, and intimacy. In my workshops and lectures, I often ask people to identify their unconscious triggers, aka their FAVORITE FEARS. I am gratified to see that audiences full of strangers seem eager to confess such things. This tells me that our culture is at a ...
How Securely Functioning Couples Handle Distress All couples go in and out of synch and will occasionally trigger one another. Distress occurs even in the best relationships—even among partners who are securely attached. How much distress is handled makes all the difference? If your partnership feels less-than-secure, or if you have not had good role models for resolving issues, it helps to have a vision of what is possible. The following steps summarize what a secure couple ...
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