“The worst crime is faking it.”
Kurt Cobain
Kurt Cobain is quite arguably one of the most beloved musicians of all time.
He was a musician, singer, and songwriter who had a very unique gift. Best known as the lead guitarist of the band Nirvana, Cobain was born in Aberdeen, Washington, where he formed the iconic band. Leading the Grunge movement in music, it was said that Cobain was the “spokesman of Generation X.” But that was never the position that Cobain wanted.
Kurt Cobain often felt misunderstood and misrepresented in the media. And his tumultuous lifestyle and marriage were often a source of heavy discussion.
During the last years of his young life, he struggled with heroin and other drug addictions. At an early age, he was diagnosed with ADHD, and he was also known to have health issues such as clinical depression. At the young age of 27, Kurt Cobain was found dead from a self-inflicted gunshot to his head.
His Creative Mind
Cobain was not only a musician, very early; his talent for drawing stood out. From all accounts, he appeared to be a happy and energetic child who was highly sensitive and empathetic to others.
At the age of nine, his parents divorced, and their split had a profound effect on him. His mother noted that his personality changed significantly. She said that he became uncharacteristically withdrawn and defiant.
His parents both went on to be remarried. His father, who promised Cobain that he wouldn’t marry again, did, which deeply hurt Kurt. And his mother started dating an abusive man.
During the relationship, Cobain was witness to several domestic violence episodes. One such episode resulted in a broken arm, which he was hospitalized. His mother refused to press charges in the case, however and continued the relationship.
What was going on in his personal life soon began to show in his academic one. He became a problem at school, and his conduct, bullying another student, led his father to take him to get professional mental help.
His emotional issues soon became too great for his father to cope with, so he put Cobain in the care of friends and family. Over the next several years, Cobain would drop out of high school and, for months at a time, be homeless, living off of the streets.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
In early childhood, Kurt was diagnosed with ADHD. People often misunderstand ADHD thinking that someone with it is incapable of focusing and paying attention. But although many have problems with attentiveness, they also have the gift of being able to hyper-focus on those things that they are passionate about.
For Kurt, that was music and art. Cobain had a fantastic ability to focus his talents on his music. And it might have been that ADHD was the push that turned his Love to genius.
ADHD is also associated with depression. When Cobain’s parents divorced, he had a hard time with how people perceived him. Being extremely swayed by what others thought, he became worried and anxious that people would look at him differently.
He wanted people to believe he had a perfect family life, so the loss of that illusion was just one more knock that probably fueled his depression.
Also, children with ADHD have higher rates of suicide and depression. Statistics show that as many as 30% of children who have diagnosed ADHD are also diagnosed with mood disorders like depression.
Perhaps it was his deep desire to get along and be well-liked at school that only further brought on feelings of hopelessness and depression.
Substance Abuse and Depression
Kurt Cobain admitted to his first drug experience at the age of 13 with marijuana, which he regularly used in adulthood. He also was known to take a large amount of LSD and was known to abuse alcohol. Cobain was also diagnosed with depression. And he had a family history of alcoholism, mental illnesses, and suicide.
Two of his uncles committed suicide in the same manner as Cobain eventually did, which might have had a profound effect on him following through. He began using heroin in 1990, and at the time of his death, he was highly addicted. His addiction began to disrupt his band tour. And in 1993, he survived a heroin overdose. His wife, Courtney Love, injected him with naloxone instead of calling for medical assistance.
His First Suicide Attempt Goes Unnoticed
In 1994, Cobain was found unconscious by his wife. He had overdosed from a combination of Rohypnol and champagne. After being rushed to the hospital, he remained there for five days. Love later told the media that it was his first suicide attempt.
In 1994, the Seattle police were called because Cobain had locked himself in a room, taking with him only a firearm. The police took all the weapons and pill bottles from home. Cobain insisted that he was not locking himself in the room to commit suicide; he was hiding from Love.
An intervention was arranged by Love later that year, where his closest friends tried to convince him to get help. Although upset at first, he did agree to undergo detox and was admitted at the Exodus Recovery Center. The counselors were not aware of his depression or his failed suicide attempts, so his deep-seated issues were never addressed.
And he quickly left the program by jumping the fence and returning to his drug abuse. Within days, there were rumors that Nirvana was headed for a breakup, and they pulled out of Lollapalooza. The following day, Cobain was found dead.
Too Young to Die
Kurt Cobain was one of the most influential musicians of his time and for many generations to come. Perhaps it was in the pain he lived that his music was so engaging and also that it inspired an entire generation to make him the face of a generation’s “angst.”
It is difficult to tell whether his depression drove his substance abuse or if it was the other way around. But most likely, they fed off one another. In his short life, he experienced a lot of trauma, for which he did not have the coping skills to overcome. And in the end, he couldn’t outrun his demons.
But his creativity, talent, and legacy will live on forever. And his battle with depression should be a wake-up call for us all. After his death, many came forward to tell of what they knew and how badly he needed help.
You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. When people heard of his death, it was one of those shocking moments where they could remember the exact moment and what they were doing when it was announced. He was that loved, only he didn’t know it, and didn’t love himself very much.
Depression Can Have Many Causes
Cobain had a combination of things in his life that would make it tough for anyone. His ADHD, with his family history of depression, along with his substance abuse, was a triad of circumstances that led to his thoughts of suicide, which eventually won. And although it is difficult to say what came first, the one obvious thing is Cobain lived a very inwardly tortured life and never got the help that he so desperately needed.
Although fame appears to have many advantages, at times, it can only fuel the fires that lie underneath. Celebrities are only human, although we tend to put them on a pedestal. Anyone can suffer from depression, no matter what their life circumstances are. If you or someone you love is struggling with depression, it is time to get the help you need. Let Kurt Cobain’s tragedy be a wake-up call to take action.
