Is This Love? How to Know if You’re in Love

February 4, 2022

When you ask people to describe love, it is like their mind has a vision, but to explain it is nearly impossible. That’s why it is so difficult to have any real definition of what love is and how to know when you are in it.

If you have hit a point in your relationship where you might be wondering if the person you are with is your “right now,” or your “forevermore,” I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that one can ever give you the answer to that question because only you know what lies in your heart. But the good news is that there are common things that we all experience when we are in love. So if you feel them, then you probably have the answer.

They are Your Emergency Contact

You know when you go to the doctor’s office and have to fill out forms? There is always the question as to who your emergency contact is. Your emergency contact is that one person that you want to be called when things go drastically wrong.

When you are in love, they are the person that you enter into that line. But not just about when things go wrong, your emergency contact is also the person that you want to call first with good news. Or, to run home to and tell them when something happens. When you are in love, you want your emergency contact at your side during the good times and the bad. And you also trust that they will always come through when you need them most.

You Care Deeply About Their Happiness

When you love someone, you care deeply about their happiness. Scientists call the need to please “compassionate love”.

If you find that you are willing to put your partner first, or think about things that will make them happy, make their life easier, or go to great lengths to bring on a smile, then there is an excellent chance that you are in love. And once more, research shows that if you have compassionate love for one another, and go out of your way to make one another feel joy, your relationship will remain healthy and strong.

You Focus on the Positive 

If you are in love with someone, you tend to see them in a positive light. Being in love means that you not only don’t mind your significant other’s idiosyncrasies; you cherish them because they are a part of what makes them, them.

When you love someone, you emphasize their strengths and downplay their weaknesses. If you can’t seem to find a single flaw or deal-breaker with the person that you are with, then the answer to the question, “is it love,” is probably “Yes”.

You Might be Somewhat Emotionally Unstable?

Falling in love with someone can lead to a large amount of emotional instability. You might find yourself bouncing between elation, not being able to sleep, fear, anxiety, and difficulty breathing when there are any bumps in the road.

Researchers have found that people who are falling in love experience high levels of mood swings that are similar to being addicted to drugs. Love is physiologically similar to addiction and can produce the same erratic thoughts and behaviors in people who find themselves in it.

You Think About Them Constantly

Woman daydreams about her love at work

When falling in love, people report spending as much as 85% of their waking thought, focusing on their love interest. If you’re daydreaming continually about being with someone on an obsessive level, then it might just be that you have been bitten by Cupid’s Arrow.

Science shows that a person who is falling in love’s brain releases phenylethylamine, which is a hormone that is responsible for the infatuation that you feel. And when we are infatuated with something, it tends to swallow us whole.

Your Hearts Beat in Synchronicity

Although the saying is that your heart skips a beat when you fall in love, science tells us that when people are in love, their heartbeats synchronize together. Literally, your heart races at the same speed as the person you are in love with. That might be just one explanation as to why you feel a deep connection with the one you love.

You Might Feel Physically Ill

If you find that you become sweaty and nauseous when in the presence of a person you might be falling for, then it might be love. Being “lovesick” is really a thing. And it is a result of the anxiety and stress that you might be feeling by falling in love. Being lovesick will typically subside as you get comfortable with the person you are falling in love with. It is a good yet sticky sign.

You do Things you Wouldn’t Before

Most of us know what we like and what we don’t when entering into a relationship with someone. If you find that those things you dislike most are the ones you are now willing to engage in, then that is probably love pushing you to do things you didn’t want to before.

If the reward for doing something is more significant than you not enjoying them before, then that is a good sign that your significant other is that significant to yo.

You can Talk About Anything

It is sporadic when we have people in our lives that we feel comfortable telling our “crazy” to. If you have things about yourself that you wouldn’t ever want anyone to know, but you find yourself opening up, then that is a good sign that you are in love.

When we fall in love, we begin to trust our partners enough to be “real,” and to both tell and show them those things about ourselves that we might not like so much. If you’ve let your guard down and exposed all the ugly that you might have hidden, then that is a sure sign that you’ve been bitten by the love bug!

You Find Other People Less Attractive

If you go out on Lady’s night, and can’t even see any other guy in the room, then that might mean your heart belongs to someone else. When you fall in love, people of the opposite sex, who might have been attractive to you before, cease to exist. The saying that “I only have eyes for you,” appears to be real. 

You Experience a Lot of Anxiety

Side profile of head showing nerves,

Although love is grand, it can also come with some downsides. One of those might be anxiety and fear. When you have nothing, you have nothing to lose. So it would stand to reason that when you love someone, you feel very invested and worried about losing them. So although it can be challenging to work through the kinks of relationship anxiety, it might be a good sign that you are in a real and lasting love affair.

You Find Yourself Being Annoyed but Pleasantly Annoyed

When you are with the person you love, they are like anyone else and can still get under your skin. The difference is that you can overlook the annoying nature of what they do and even want to be around them all the time. If the way he eats with his mouth can make you cringe, but you still want to have ever dinner of your life with him, that speaks volumes about your love.

How do You Know if You Love Someone?

Although there is no one sure sign to tell you whether you are in love or not, we all experience some common things when bitten by the love bug. If much of the signs above are showing in your relationship, then it just might be love. Take heart, try not to overthink it, and enjoy the ride. Love is about finding security, comfort, and a place to call home in someone else’s arms.


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