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Recent questions

Naj Alikhan

/ Life tested and state licensed therapist / LMFT
It’s an incredibly common practice to set goals or New Years resolutions that we don’t follow through on. The biggest reason is that we are trying to build a brand new habit without two important things: structure and incentive. If you have these, you are a lot more likely to succeed. Structure means making a plan that starts with very small goals. What’s 1% of the goal? Start there today. If your goal is to start going to the gym, for instance, don’t start there. 1% might mean exercise at home. Once you do that much easier task, build on that momentum with a gym membership. Every day do a little more till you get where you want to be. Incentives make it a lot easier to motivate ourselves. In fact, economists say that incentives are the only thing that drives people. So find a reward system that works for you. What do you get when you reach this goal? Daily, weekly, monthly. Structure and incentives are essential to reaching goals!

Helen Granskog

/ Certified Wellness Coach and Author
Some great areas to consider setting goals in are: your relationships, your spirituality, exercise, nutrition, hobbies/interests, career, community, parenting and personal development. Setting goals in these areas will help you to maintain balance as an individual and help you become the best version of yourself. If resolutions and goal setting is new to you, this list may seem overwhelming. To avoid overwhelm pick 3 to 5 areas, instead of all, to set goals in.


/ Anxiety / Career / Health
Oddly enough people are often low on Vitamin D-3 which can be determined via a CBC blood draw by your PCP (doctor).

Melissa Ludwig

/ Compassionate Therapist / LMHC
That is absolutely not true! Unfortunately, that is the common belief even among some mental health professionals. However, it's simply not the case! Personality disorders are very treatable, as long as the person is willing to put the work in. There are certain types of therapy, such as DBT, that are specifically designed to work with different types of personality disorders. These therapy techniques help a person with tolerating distressing emotions, being more mindful of inner versus external cues, etc. There are so many effective coping skills that can be taught to anyone who is willing to learn-people with personality disorders are no exclusion!

Robin Albertson, AMFT (102801)

/ Associate Therapist & Coach
Thanks for the question! Sometimes it's easier for us to hold ourselves accountable as a "bad picker" than holding others accountable for their poor behavior. Regardless of the reason you're feeling like a you choose people who lie, the reality is that you are not responsible for someone else's choices. Extend yourself some forgiveness and kindness by holding others responsible for their actions.

Ronica M. Clark, LMFT

/ Working with you to get a little peace of mind / LMFT
I long and short answer is no it is not common sense and yes I wish it was. If the only problem with addiction was using then stop using would end the problem. However when it comes to addiction there is a reason why people use in the first place and if that is not address in some way or form they do on of two things. They relapse or become a "dry drunk" meaning they are sober however they are unhappy with life as a whole. Most people hate being a "dry drunk" and relapse. So no it's not common sense.

Geraldine Novy BS, RN, NC-BC, NBC-HWC, FMCHC

/ Pinwheel The Art of Wellness Lifestyle
There is a difference in being helpful vs. harmful. Caring for another's wellness is natural. The care or help I provide does not define me in my relationships which relates to codependency and can be harmful. I have boundaries. In my career as a Holistic RN and National Board Certified Health Coach I make a conscious choice to be helpful to someone or a group for their optimal health & wellness.

Dr. Debra LMFT (MT2416)

/ The Relationship Expert / LMFT
Your "why" is "your why." I wondering "how are you okay with pain and discomfort that you must be experiencing when you find yourself in a situation or a relationship that harms you in some way. I'm wondering when are you going to realize that you have some control when you are making these "interesting" choices. You have at least two choices going forward: You may continue to consciously or unconsciously put yourself in situations of harm, OR you may slow yourself down consider that you are about to make the SAME kind of poor choice AND in that moment CHOOSE a more helpful alternative. Give your new response some time to become a habit and before you know it, this question will NOT APPLY TO YOU.

Dr. Debra LMFT (MT2416)

/ The Relationship Expert / LMFT
Hmmm, there are many reasons why it is hard to commit to self-care. However, my first thought is that it requires the kind of discipline that is hard to acquire and maintain, We all know what we should do about our less-than healthy habits, but we can't seem to find the wherewithal to put action to the task. With that said, get yourself a couple of professionals. Get a a therapist or counselor to approach your problem from a mental and emotional standpoint. Then get a more specific coach (life/spiritual, nutrition, health, fitness, business, etc to help you with your exact self-care need. Let me know how it goes.

Cindy A Mayne

/ Clinical Hypnotherapist, Life Coach, Addictions
I have recently been working with a 61 year old woman who has the same issue. There are so many things you can do to start a new journey. I personally have gone back to school for my Graduate degree and find that so interesting, and fun, to hone my skills as a counselor and coach. Perhaps you can think of three things you really wanted to do but couldn't due to "life happening" in the past. If you find three ideas then put them in an intention circle. Identifying what you want to happen and setting intentions on how to get there from here. I work with seniors, as we call the "third age" , over 55. I like that term. Have a great new journey.