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Recent questions

Ronica M. Clark, LMFT

/ Working with you to get a little peace of mind / LMFT
The difference between being sad and depressed. The problem is with our society we forget that we can just be sad. We go through point in our lives when we are sad for a couple of reason. One reason being is that we are not at the point we think we should be in our lives, or we feel like we should be further along than we are. These two situations can be a reason we go into depression or just be sad. We have reasons we feel low key depressed or sad. Sometime it's just a matter of being more kinder to yourself because we are where we are in this present moment. At the present moment you can be low key depressed (or sad) for a number of reasons. The mindset that will help you through this moment is being kind to yourself, take a break, and work on your self care.

Ronica M. Clark, LMFT

/ Working with you to get a little peace of mind / LMFT
The short answer is no it is not true that a person with personality disorder cannot be help and that there is no change them. The catch is you cannot be the one who changes them. A person with a personality disorder cannot change unless they want to change. So if you're in a relationship with a person with a personality disorder they will not change unless they want to change. A person with a personality disorder may not want to change because they did not develop a personality disorder over night and most likely it helped them in someway to be that way in the world. Only person you can change is yourself. Please don't accept this behavior because they "can't help it", and get this toxic relationship out of your life.

Robin Albertson, AMFT (102801)

/ Associate Therapist & Coach
Thanks for the question! Sometimes it's easier for us to hold ourselves accountable as a "bad picker" than holding others accountable for their poor behavior. Regardless of the reason you're feeling like a you choose people who lie, the reality is that you are not responsible for someone else's choices. Extend yourself some forgiveness and kindness by holding others responsible for their actions.

Ronica M. Clark, LMFT

/ Working with you to get a little peace of mind / LMFT
I long and short answer is no it is not common sense and yes I wish it was. If the only problem with addiction was using then stop using would end the problem. However when it comes to addiction there is a reason why people use in the first place and if that is not address in some way or form they do on of two things. They relapse or become a "dry drunk" meaning they are sober however they are unhappy with life as a whole. Most people hate being a "dry drunk" and relapse. So no it's not common sense.

Geraldine Novy BS, RN, NC-BC, NBC-HWC, FMCHC

/ Pinwheel The Art of Wellness Lifestyle
There is a difference in being helpful vs. harmful. Caring for another's wellness is natural. The care or help I provide does not define me in my relationships which relates to codependency and can be harmful. I have boundaries. In my career as a Holistic RN and National Board Certified Health Coach I make a conscious choice to be helpful to someone or a group for their optimal health & wellness. Geraldine.PinwheelPresents.com.

Dr. Debra LMFT (MT2416)

/ The Relationship Expert / LMFT
Your "why" is "your why." I wondering "how are you okay with pain and discomfort that you must be experiencing when you find yourself in a situation or a relationship that harms you in some way. I'm wondering when are you going to realize that you have some control when you are making these "interesting" choices. You have at least two choices going forward: You may continue to consciously or unconsciously put yourself in situations of harm, OR you may slow yourself down consider that you are about to make the SAME kind of poor choice AND in that moment CHOOSE a more helpful alternative. Give your new response some time to become a habit and before you know it, this question will NOT APPLY TO YOU.

Ronica M. Clark, LMFT

/ Working with you to get a little peace of mind / LMFT
The big problem with addiction is that it gets tie to our muscle memory (which is the longest standing memory), and that is one of the reason they are so hard to break. The easy way to talk about muscle memory is the reason why you never forget to ride a bike. While you are early in your recovery it would be a good idea to change all of your behavior that are tie to your addiction. If you used to visit certain places, doing certain things or have a certain crown of people it would be a good idea to avoid those places until they become less triggering. However what about the hobbies I should be able to do while sober? When it comes to those it would be a good idea to try to do a different behavior then use to accompany that hobby. For example you may want to switch beer for water, soda or juice when you are fixing your motorcycle, car or going fishing.

Dr. Debra LMFT (MT2416)

/ The Relationship Expert / LMFT
Hmmm, there are many reasons why it is hard to commit to self-care. However, my first thought is that it requires the kind of discipline that is hard to acquire and maintain, We all know what we should do about our less-than healthy habits, but we can't seem to find the wherewithal to put action to the task. With that said, get yourself a couple of professionals. Get a a therapist or counselor to approach your problem from a mental and emotional standpoint. Then get a more specific coach (life/spiritual, nutrition, health, fitness, business, etc to help you with your exact self-care need. Let me know how it goes.