There is an old saying that what happens in the bedroom is what is happening in a marriage. But many wonder how important having sexual contact with your significant other really is for the health of your marriage. After all, the most important things should be mutual trust, respect, and communication.
If things are no longer heating up in the bedroom and you are wondering whether it is an issue or not, studies would indicate sex and love do go hand in hand. What most research shows is that having more sex does actually lead to more affection showed to one another. And it might lead to a better bond and less arguing. Sex for love isn’t a trade-off, but it certainly helps! There is a clear relationship between sex and love in marriage – is the connection missing in yours?
Want a Stronger Relationship? Hit the Sheets!
A comprehensive study was done to analyze the sex lives of couples and how it translates into a better relationship. The findings were that the more sex a couple had, the more affection they showed to one another. That was apparent both verbally and physically. So sex isn’t just about feeling good; it is about connecting on a spiritual, sensual, and emotional level.
When you are intimate with someone, it brings about a feeling of closeness that is an essential component of sharing your life with someone. It isn’t just the act of sex; it is about trusting one another enough to be vulnerable, being generous enough to care about making someone feel good, and having a close enough line of communication to express your desires and wants.
The Biological Side of Sexual Contact
Sex not only makes you happier, but it also releases endorphins called dopamine, which is “feel good” neurotransmitters that make you euphoric. Those endorphins make you feel both physically and emotionally bonded. In fact, when couples were asked after sex about their mate, they were more likely to have a positive outlook on both their significant other and their relationship after sex. And the same study showed that if the couples engaged in sex more frequently over six months, they reported more “fond” feelings toward one another after their sex life was rekindled.
Sex for Love?
Although sex is an essential component of intimacy between two people, other acts of affection are impotent in a marriage, which should not be overlooked. Things like making lingering eye contact, small kisses on the cheek, and even holding hands are all ways that couples can increase their emotional bond.
When one person feels rejected, it can lead to them over exaggerating things that would probably not be a big issue. But when two people are regularly intimate with one another, and there aren’t hurt feelings or resentment, then they tend to gloss over the little things. And they show each other a lot more kindness.
When you Feel Desired you Feel Better About Yourself
When people feel as if they are desired, they feel better about themselves. And they also have increased self-esteem, which makes them more light-hearted and willing to open themselves up to someone else. So when someone made you feel good about yourself and wanted, you want to return the favor.
Couples who have regular sexual contact argue less, are more supportive toward one another, and they show each other a lot more unconditional love. And overall, couples who keep the magic alive, enjoy better mental health and well being.
Not Having Sex Can Damage a Relationship
In reverse, not having sexual contact with your mate can lead to resentment, hurt feelings, and a loss of self-esteem. Often, there is one person in the marriage who would like to enjoy the close contact of their partner. When they are rejected, it can lead to self-esteem problems that can make them disengage from the partnership.
The Benefits of Having More Sex
Many benefits come from having regular sex with your mate that are outside of just your relationship. Sexual activity is tied to lower blood pressure, reduced stress, and emotional perks like feeling more secure and loved.
There are many psychological benefits of sex that can influence the positive nature of your relationship.
Stress is an inevitable part of everyone’s life, and unavoidable, but learning to find ways to control it and override its adverse effects is essential. Having sex might be one of the best ways to fight stress there is. When you are stressed, your body releases adrenaline and cortisol. They are hormones that can lead to high blood pressure and fatigue over the long-term.
Sex can reduce the levels of cortisol and adrenaline in the body, and the effects of having sex can last two or more days. And if people feel less stress, they are less likely to become irritated with one another. And they are more apt to be more easy-going.
When you have sex, your body releases endorphins, which help you feel good and may help to reduce depression. Also released during sex is something called oxytocin, which is known as the “hug drug.” It is responsible for feelings of being content and calm.
Finally, when you reach orgasm, another hormone, prolactin, is released, which can help you to fall asleep and lead to better sleep cycles. When two people are feeling better, in general, they tend to get along better!
When you are desired by someone who wants to have sex with you, it can boost your self-esteem. Higher self-esteem leads to more positivity, which is definitely vital for the health of any marriage.
Aside from the emotional benefits that healthy sex life can produce, there are also physical benefits to healthy sex life.
Being Physically Fit
Sex is a way to stay in shape, and many studies link it to better health. The American Heart Association states that sexual activity is equal to moderate physical exercise such as climbing stairs and walking. And the movements that you make during sex can help to tighten your abdominal and pelvic muscles. In women, it can also lead to better bladder control as you age. In just 30 minutes, you can burn as many as 200 calories.
Increased Immune Function
Studies show that being sexually active helps to improve your immune function, which can lead to fewer bouts of illness and a decrease in the risk of infection.
Endorphins are like little shots of pain relief. They not only make you feel euphoric, but they also help to decrease chronic and acute pain.
Sexual activity, when engaged with a partner, leads to lower systolic blood pressure. And lower blood pressure decreases your risk of heart disease and stroke. Sexual activity also helps to dilate your blood vessels, increase your oxygen flow, and reduce your blood pressure.
Studies done on mice revealed that the more often they had sex, the better their cognitive functioning was. And there was also increased growth of brain cells. Other studies have shown that having sex is associated with increased memory function in people over the age of 50. Sex has also been linked to an increased sense of smell, improved digestion, and healthier teeth and skin, related to the release of DHEA in the body.
So how do you Jumpstart Your Sex Life?
There are many reasons that people start to lose some of the sexual desire they used to have in a relationship. Over time, it is normal for things to cool a little.
If you are finding that there is an increasingly big divide going on in your bed and bedroom, and fear it might be affecting the bond you share with your partner, take heart. As long as you still have the desire for closeness, anything is possible.
Whether it is stress, or maybe feelings of rejection that might have made things cool off, all it takes is you putting yourself out there. If you let your significant other know that you not only want to rekindle your sexual relationship but also that you need to, things can change quickly. Communication is the first and most crucial step to jumpstarting your sex life.
Is it Possible to get the Magic Back?
Be open, honest, and try not to be confrontational or fear rejection. When two people love each other, they should be able to come to a point where even uncomfortable subjects can be discussed openly and honestly. But you need a starting point. Sometimes all it takes is a touch, smile, or a kiss to let them know that you miss the intimacy you used to share.
There are many benefits to regular sexual activity that aren’t just physical, but also emotional. And in a stable relationship, having sexual relations can strengthen your bond and make you feel more connected. So, yes, sex and love are highly connected.