True love. It should be a super easy concept. After all, shouldn’t love be the same for everyone? And when you fall in love, shouldn’t it somehow feel “real” and be different than puppy love or infatuation? The problem with answering the question, “what is the definition of true love?” Is that there is no one answer.
Much like answering how you describe the color blue, true love isn’t something that has bullet points that you move through to make sure you are in it. But some things can signal that you are in a relationship that is based on trust, mutual respect, and kindness, all of which must be present for it to last. So, the true definition of true love is how long it can stand the test, and stress, of time. These are ten real signs of authentic and undying love.
What is the Definition of True Love
“True love is knowing a person’s faults, and loving them even more for them.”
-Jean de La Fontaine
1. You Care More About the Other Person Than you do Yourself
It is essential to maintain autonomy in a relationship and always to be concerned with your own well being. But true love involves being selfless and putting the needs of another person, sometimes ahead of your own.
Loving someone more than you love yourself means that you care deeply about their safety, their happiness, and, most importantly, about how your actions affect them. When you are genuinely in love, you find joy in making sure that your partner is fulfilled, supported, and that they have all that they need.
2. The World Disappears in Their Presence
When you find your true love,, you might not feel “love” all the time. But in those moments when you can leave the chaos of life behind you, and you connect, there is electricity.
True love comes in waves when you are with the person who makes you feel safe and secure. And when you are with your true love, it seems as if nothing else in the world exists. True love involves two people on an island left to share moments that are meant for only two.
3. They Complete you
When you find your true love, it is like finding the missing piece of a puzzle. It isn’t that you aren’t complete on your own. It is that your true love gives you a piece you hadn’t known was missing. And in doing so, they make you your greatest you.
It is the addition of them in your world that brings out the very best that you have. Your true love is your best friend, with a side of something that you didn’t know you were missing, found. They are the yin to your yang and make everything fall into order. It is like finding the half of you that you didn’t know what floating out in the world somewhere…truly amazing.
4. They Light That Spark Inside you
We all have a little spark that sits inside of us. When you find true love, it is like someone lit a match. And when they aren’t around, it isn’t gone, but it is dimmed a little. It is that spark that tells us that we are alive, it reminds us that joy is all around us, and it makes us feel warm and safe.
True love is a feeling that makes us believe that anything is possible as long as the person that we love is standing at our side. And also, that no matter what happens, that light will always shine brightly because someone is stoking it.
5. You Never Feel Alone
True love means never feeling alone. When you have someone in your life who completes you, you can never feel alone. Sure, we come into this world by ourselves, and inevitably, that is the way that we leave it.
But in between, we are meant to be with that one person who allows us to feel safe, secure, and never left standing solo. Your true love will be there to defend you, to hold you up when you feel your legs shaky, and who will have heavy shoulders when you need them to cry on.
6. There is Unconditional Love
Unconditional love is something that we get from our parents, but we also find it in our true love. Unconditional love means that they know all of your worst quirks, and they love you not in spite of them, but specifically, because they are a part of what makes you, you.
You don’t have to hide your feelings, who you are, or what you fear most with your true love. When you love someone unconditionally, you don’t always have to like them, but in your heart, there is still forgiveness and undying love.
7. It Endures All
Your true love is the thing that endures all. It doesn’t matter how stressful life becomes, and it doesn’t matter what you have on your plate; it conquers all. True love isn’t about the way that you look, what you can do for someone else, or what you can’t do.
It is about what your soul does for one another. If you should lose the use of your limbs, or you get into an accident that forever alters your physicality, true love won’t change. It is based on a purely internal need to be connected to one person in your life on a spiritual level.
8. You Don’t Need Them, You Want Them
Some relationships appear to be super amazing because two people are inseparable and do everything together. And sometimes that is great. But true love means that you don’t need someone in your life, you want them there always. It isn’t codependency or the need to be with another person. Your true love is someone that you can live without, but you choose every day not to.
Truly loving someone means that if you had the opportunity to choose them, you would over and over again each time, not because it is what is comfortable and safe, but because without them, your life would not be full and satisfying. You can stand on your own two feet and are not afraid to; you just never want to.
9. They are Your Emergency Contact
You know that moment when you find out that either something completely amazing just happened, or that moment when your life falls to shambles? Your true love is the person that pops into your head at that very moment. There isn’t a question who you need to call; you wouldn’t even consider anyone else. When you find true love, you want to share the good, the bad, and the ugly with them.
They are the first ones you want at your side to cherish the best memories in your life, and they are also the only one you want at your bedside when the worst possible thing you can imagine happens. They can’t make things better, but they know how to make it “okay.” Your emergency contact is the person that you want to call to make things okay.
10. They are More Than Familiar
There are very few, if any, people in this world that we let see our crazy. Or that we allow seeing the sides of ourselves that we don’t really like so much. Mostly, we hide those things that we don’t like because we want people to like us. When you find your true love, that awkwardness of trying to be someone you aren’t, trying to be perfect, and trying to just be okay with you, disappears.
You can sit on the couch and watch television without having to say a word. And they already know what you think, even before you, yourself knows what to think. You have a feeling that you must have known them well before you met. They are in all senses of the word, your soul mate.
The debate about whether there is such a thing as a soul mate will rage on forever because there is no way to prove or disprove its existence. But one thing is for sure; real love does exist. And the reason I know so is that I have been blessed enough to experience and see it for myself.
If you are in a relationship and wondering whether it is real love, or something else, and questioning if it is your forever, talking with a counselor might help you sort out your mixed feelings. If you want to know what is true love in a relationship, what better way to discover the answer than asking an expert.